Emotional Homelessness

That is a hard phrase to look at and perhaps even to fully grasp.I first heard the phrase from Bishop T.D. Jakes in regards to how couples in troubled marriages or are now divorced often deal with the emotions that come bubbling to the surface. Once I understood this phrase I could see just how homeless my own emotions have been. When I have needed to talk through my emotions I have been met with "just get over it" or "Just let it go" and sometimes even annoyed silence and accusations of "slowly killing" myself. It's as if my healing is a nuisance, an intrusion into the idealistic lives----their quiet and often boring lives. Some of these people are people who have gone through the same thing and have also made their own emotions homeless and so their "advice" is a desperate attempt to beg me not open old wounds which they thought had long been healed. Some of these people are people who have no clue what it feels like to have had a fractured marriage or go through a divorce but their advice comes from a place, it seems to me, of "better you than me" and "let it go" is the best they can do to appear helpful. The bottom line seems to be that emotions, especially negative, scare people because it taps into repressed feelings within themselves and because of this we have become a society of emotional homeless beings.

Emotional homelessness is not confined to crumbling or crumbled marriages however. We are all guilty of sticking our emotions in some sub basement of our psyche with the sincere desire to not have to deal with the pain or uncertainty.... the unpleasantness of it all. As we often do in reality with human homelessness, we close our hearts and minds and eyes to our emotions unless they are good or happy or joyful or positive. the truth is that ALL of our emotions are real and true and a part of us. we are each responsible for our emotions how and who we share them with. quite frankly, it is my opinion that those people in our lives who shun us, while they may mean well, serve no real purpose in our lives. They are stepping stones along the path that we are destined to walk. When they no longer serve a purpose, no no longer add something to our lives it is okay and dare I say essential to wish them well and let them go. It's no wrong it's healthy. in my humble opinion they have simply finished their task with you. Rather than hold grudges or create resentment and subsequent regrets, it's best to cosmically thank them for their teachings, their lessons and continue moving forward.

Emotions are merely the ingredients we use to make the beautiful mess that is us complete. They help us to better gauge the world around us and owning them fully rather then stuffing them or denying them is crucial to our "enlightenment". On the flip side of that is the very real and tangible fact that happiness, joy, and laughter is the core of our true self and we often get boggled down with every day life, with denying our true self or hiding from our true self that we forget that we were in fact born to be happy, joyful, thankful, blessed, and to have bliss and laughter in our lives. Because of this we must each day make healthy choices, just as we do for diet and exercise. If a person or people are toxic we have a choice: weed them from the pack or suffer along with them. Whichever choice we make there are sure to be a plethora of emotions to follow. Breathe! It's normal and it's okay. I have found the best way to deal with the tsunami of emotions that follow "thinning the herd" is to acknowledge them. This is how I am feeling in this moment and to remember that those feelings do not define me or the moment, they simply just are what they are. When we do this we are setting up new pathways in our brain so that we are are better able to deal with the emotional homelessness and create that inner peace we all so desperately seek but was never truly missing!


In Buddhist meditation, the word Shant is often spoke as a mantra. It is Sanskrit  and means peace, rest, calmness, tranquility, or bliss. It is my deep desire that we all tap into that bliss and make our lives more peaceful.
Namaste~