A true story

I am unable to walk for very long without any pain. I fell into a car 3 years ago and injured my knees. They were already to blow out---they screamed at my 400+ girth on a daily basis. The fall cinch the deal and slowly, at first, I lost mobility. Today, I move around my hair on a computer chair. Since every square inch of my house is tile, this is a breeze...there are two draw backs: cooking is a real bitch since I'm eye level with the food/stove and there's a place in the tile that is uneven and creates a lip. The grout lines are fairly deep as well so as you can imagine I get caught a lot in the grout. 

This one uneven spot seems to be my short fall---hey I made a funny! Fall? Get it? Whatever...I digress. It never fails that when I am scooting through the house I get stuck. There is one wheel that nearly always gets caught on the lip of the uneven tile and as the result....I end up spinning in a perfect circle. Basically what ends up happening is I am headed backwards towards the kitchen and rolling/pushing in a straight line and then Whamo! I'm spinning around in the opposite direction trying disparately to get unhinged from the lip! Not funny? Did I mention I'm in my panda hat AND the dog is trying to get past me to go outside at the precise moment I am stuck in a working and I need to pee reeeeallly bad?  Adding insult to injury my bitch cat is staring at me and if she could she would be sucking her teeth and scoffing at me under breathe: "stupid biped".

So there you have it folks. A little insight into how easy it is to find humor in most everything I do or say.