Save The Eggs!

In my younger days I used to be a fashion model. As such I learned how to walk gracefully, daringly, sensually. Falling was never an option but I imagine if I ever did fall I would have done it perfectly!
                                                                

Okay okay I was never a model but I do know something about falling. I've fallen off bikes, out of trees. Fallen in crosswalks, fallen out of cars, fallen into cars, fallen down stairs, fallen into elevators, fallen off high heels and flip flops. Fallen into sidewalk cracks and potholes. Last week, I fell trying to get into my own house! The day I fell I was in charge of getting 2 dozen eggs inside the house and put in the fridge. I was carrying the eggs, my wallet and my cane. My legs were tired but the end was near....my computer chair was right inside the door waiting for me. I felt like Indiana Jones as he looked at the gold figurine trying to assess how much sand was needed to trick the pedestal/Altar on which the figure rested! I vaguely recall hearing the sound of an angels choir when I gazed at my chair and lusted for its wide seat, high back and wheels.


I have a trick where I use the handle of my cane to grab the edge of the door, pull it closer to me and use the door knob as an anchor to get into the house. As I reached for the door I immediately felt my right knee buckle and my thigh tighten. I remember hearing myself screeching "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" as if the word would magically envelope my body and set me up right....


Did you know that concrete gets pretty hot in the summer sun?


All I could think of was trying to fall in such a way that it would minimize further damage to my knees. My oldest reports he heard me screech, dropped the groceries he was holding and tried very hard to get behind me to keep me from falling.........

Gosh but the sky was so blue that morning!
                                                    
On  the ground--instant assessment of the situation revealed nothing more than bruised ego and gravel in my butt crack. Folks I am a survivor, a fighter. I almost died last summer. Spent 4 days in the hospital, 2 of which were in ICU. I walked out of the hospital even though many of my nursing staff didn't think I would...... I am not going down without a fight----well alright a whimper.

I am glad to report that about 30 minutes after getting inside the house and, through much gnashing of teeth, crying and screaming, I finally got my fat ass on the couch and into my chair.

By the way---no eggs were harmed in the telling of this true story!